Who is right?Īs frustrating and painful as it is, I believe your daughter is correct here. My daughter is begging me to stay out of it. Did I mention that she lives around the corner and we frequently carpool together to school? I can’t believe how insensitive these parents are and I’m ready to march around the corner and give them a piece of my mind. Now one of her friends is having a party with a smaller group and she didn’t invite my daughter. My daughter turned 10 a few months ago and had a big birthday party with the whole class invited. It will be a greater kindness to your daughter. I can’t repeat often enough that the goal of parenting is to help raise successful adults and not to have the cutest or wittiest or best-dressed 6-year-old! To that end, we sometimes need to put our foot down and take a stand against chutzpah or meanness or other unacceptable behaviors. Not only is it a practical tool for life but it teaches us about what it means to have a relationship with the Almighty.Ĭhildren and adults are NOT equals and we should not encourage that perception. Because our children need to respect authority figures, because learning to subject ourselves to a “higher authority” is an essential part of character development. We don’t want to set a precedent of permissible talking back to parents or teachers or any other authority figures. What is adorable and oh-so-clever in a three year-old is rude and obnoxious a few years later. This has nothing to do with my honor – or yours – but with our children’s character. I feel strongly that there should be a zero tolerance policy for chutzpah. While hormones will be hormones and there is nothing you nor I nor anyone else can do to stop it, I do believe there is action that you can and should take immediately. Is there anything you think I should do now to ward off a really awful adolescence? I don’t want to dampen her spirit and she makes me laugh but I get nervous when I think of her as a teenager. She knows how to smile and get away with things and sometimes her “cute” behavior borders on chutzpah. She is very aware of her own abilities and charms and can be a little manipulative. ![]() She is also very pretty and even a little coquettish. It is actually a lot of fun to talk to her. She understands everything and has a large vocabulary. My three-year-old daughter is very precocious. The ball will now be in her court.Įmuna Precocious, Manipulative 3-Year-Old Even if she doesn’t, you have taken a stand and preserved your dignity and still left open the option of a future improved relationship. It’s possible that once she’s forced to face this behavior and no longer allowed to get away with it, she will actually change. I think you could say something like, “I would really like us to have a better relationship but this type of conversation is abusive and unacceptable and I am hanging up the phone or walking away (or whatever is appropriate to the situation).” This allows you to stand firm against this behavior without lowering yourself to her level. On the other hand, I don’t think you have to continue to open yourself up to her critical behavior. I think we could all agree that equal nastiness or ignoring her are not solutions we would be proud of. What is the kind of person you want to be and what is the best outcome for you? Is that kind of person achieved through responding with equal nastiness to your sister-in-law, through ignoring her or through continuing to reach out? (Or none of the above!) You have to continue to behave in a way that you are proud of. It may just help if you have some compassion for her.īeyond that, you are NOT responsible for her behavior, only your own. This is a possible explanation but, as mentioned, not an excuse. Her feelings of inadequacy and guilt may express themselves as nastiness and rudeness. Perhaps there is some reason that your sister-in-law can’t be there for her own mother and she is resentful that you, her daughter-in-law and not her biological daughter, can. There is no excuse for rude behavior, especially under these circumstances. I think my self-respect demands that I distance myself from her and not put up with her rudeness and criticism anymore. On top of that, I’m the one that takes my mother-in-law to all her doctor’s appointments and even to the hairdresser, so if anyone has a right to be resentful it’s me not her! I know it’s painful for my husband (her brother) but I’ve had enough. ![]() I have tried and tried to be close to my sister-in-law but she just won’t let me.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |